Listening as the foundation for progress
In a world saturated with noise, where voices are often drowned out by schedule constraints, my needs, or simply the chaos of daily life, listening has become a rare and undervalued skill for progress. Yet, it is one of the most profound tools for fostering connection and care. Listening builds trust between clients and their helping partner - we the process consultant.
For two of my women clients, their need to be listened to in safe and nonjudgmental space with their jumbled feelings after the election appeared front and center in our recently scheduled individual meetings. Listening plays a transformative role in our relationships with clients. We truly cannot help a client move forward on their current initiative when another obstacle suddenly looms larger in their immediate vision. Practicing listening competencies as taught through the Society for Process Consulting allows us to help the client move forward even in a looming presidential transition.
Listening is often misconstrued as a passive act, but in truth, it is one of the most active skills we can cultivate. Effective listening requires presence, effort, and the ability to quiet our own assumptions to truly hear what someone else is saying.
Listening precludes assumptions
One woman client surprised me when meeting after the election by being almost numb in her ability to jump into her work because of the presidential election outcome. Based on her geographical region and organization I realized I had ‘assumed’ she would have been in sync with the election outcome. I was wrong. Another woman client I imagined had voted for the other candidate based on the same considerations. When I met with that second client, as anticipated, she was experiencing deep concern for her team because of the anticipated change outcomes for their clients because of the election results. What I noticed about myself is that I had read one client’s context correctly and totally missed anticipating how upset the other client would be even after a year plus of working with this individual. I had not interrupted my own fast thinking to enter the meeting without presuppositions- my unexamined assumptions were there, and they were wrong. Fortunately, I genuinely care for my clients and have learned (and continue to learn) the power of questions and listening and quickly realized my mistaken presumption and how this new reality would impact our work together that day.
I did not ask about the election in either session, but each leader was unable to meaningfully engage previously built upon work with me because of how stuck they were due to November 5th's outcome. I work with leaders who are self-aware and desire to grow and do the arduous work with their team members of discovering their next best steps. I do not take clients based on their political views, as I imagine you the reader also do not. But I was struck by how much “it” was an elephant in the room that needed to be invited to speak. It became obvious that their current effectiveness was at that moment connected to being listened to actively, comprehensively, conceptually and contextually. I needed to help them build architecturally with what was being said, testing what they thought they could do next. All the while, I moved like a boxer adaptively with them in conversation, holding the space between us gingerly and with care.
Listening creates belonging so leaders can do their best work
Listening led to being present and simply sharing space as each client’s best work that day. Listening was showing up as helper without judgment or pretense of what was paralyzing them. Listening included times of shared pauses. Listening built a safe environment where each woman could share their current reality from their perspective. Listening included follow up questions to further their planning and success. As process consultants we can help leaders wrestle with life’s perceived speed bumps. That week’s questions became; What does it mean for you now that this administration is coming into power? How do you need to prepare yourself for what this will mean for you? How will you know you are on the right path of preparation for you? How will the new administration affect your team members? How do you want to care for them now? What parts of our previous work together need to wait until you feel you can once again pour into your current plan? What parts of your current priority goals and action steps need to change, if any, based on added information you want to test? How can you take care of yourself in this season?
If these two women were your clients, what additional questions would you ask to help them in their leadership journey when their felt reality was impacted so deeply?
When we listen actively, we create a sense of belonging for the speaker. Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs reminds us that after securing basic needs and safety, humans crave love and belonging. In professional and personal spaces alike, active listening fosters this sense of connection. It shows that we value the perspectives of others whether we personally agree or not, laying the foundation for trust and collaboration for their best flourishing.
As I leaned into each of these two sessions I listened actively and comprehensively. I learned that each woman’s emotional state and felt weight for her team members, staff, and customers/clients were more affected than I would have guessed without first listening. I needed to listen to discern what was blocking forward movement for both women leaders. I needed to grasp more of their context and what elements of their world were weighing on their shoulders differently because of the election results. I listened for their needs in their dissonant environment. I began listening architecturally testing differently with each of them to see what if? what do? what then? concerning the next steps they felt would serve them and their people best. In testing ideas, I listened adaptively wanting to understand more of what could build traction for their next priority moves in their unique cultures to further the individual mission of each organization for which they cared so deeply. The core competencies of listening resourced me as a process consultant to listen effectively to my clients so that they could do their best work.
Practice Listening’s core competencies
Here are some reminders I keep in front of me to remember what listening can and should look like. How might these definitions, built off the Society’s core competencies of listening help you with those who need you to listen more effectively?
Conclusion
Listening is a gateway to understanding, building caring trust, and paving the way for progress. It is not merely a soft skill—it is a transformative force that can reshape how leaders and organization's function. Sometimes helping involves listening to women leaders’ fear and angst about a new presidential administration. Real life hits us all, yet we have work to do that impacts our world. How do we show up despite life’s obstacles? What instead may be an opportunity? Having a skilled listening partner like a certified process consultant at your side is one powerful way to keep on keeping on.
Let us commit to listening—not just as a means of hearing, but as a means of transforming. Let us flourish together. For when we truly listen, we empower not only leaders but entire systems to grow, innovate, and thrive. Make your plans now to add increased listening skills and opportunities for you to listen and be listened to for everyone’s betterment in 2024.
Written by Dawn Yoder Graber
Senior Consultant and Executive Coach, Design Group International
P.S. Enjoy some fun listening prompts to share with family and friends this holiday season from MyGrow
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If you'd like to write a blog post for the Society for Process Consulting, please e-mail Lon L. Swartzentruber at lons@designgroupintl.com.